24

Unless something amazing happens (i.e. Audrey is put to death to resurrect the body of Edgar!) this will go down as the worst season of 24 ever…

The following plot holes occurred between 1 and 3 p.m.: (And I mean 24-plot holes, not just normal-show plot holes so they are HUGE)

1:06 p.m. : Unless a helicopter is right on top of you, you aren’t going to hear it in a car.

1:07 p.m. : Why would there be all those cars parked under the overpass? And how do you start one with a rock?

1:08 p.m.: With satellite and helicopter coverage, they STILL lose them!

1:10 p.m.: McCarthy’s girlfriend went from bimbo on the street to killer AFTER she found out this involved a nuke that killed 12,000 people and ruined her vacation.

1:17 p.m.: AFTER the lamest ousting of Karen ever, Lennox decides to quit because the pres won’t listen to him. C’mon!

1:29 p.m.: Milo and his moustache annoy me (not a plot hole, but a truth!)

1:31 p.m.: OK, let’s assume Assad is on-par with Bin Laden. What are the chances the Secret Service would let Bin Laden and G.W. ALONE in the same room? AND wasn’t it just a little stupid when he said, “If one more nuclear weapon goes off …” (I use the same tone when I tell my kids that if they don’t get their feet off the table …)

1:34 p.m.: Has any CTU perimeter ever actually contained anyone?

1:35 p.m.: After a little bit of torture (10 min. worth max.), CTU arrives and does a fire alarm just to make sure the terrorists know. So, Morris knows the good guys are outside, too, right? So, instead of stalling or instead of making a thing-ma-bobber that doesn’t work, what does Morris do? He HURRIES to get the thing for the bad guys!?!

1:47 p.m.: OK, let’s pretend Morris thought that he could make the little device operational BECAUSE CTU was outside and that the nukes were somewhere else … And THEN Fayyad shows him one of the nukes and tells him to arm it (while hitting him in the sore … ARM, get it?). But instead of screwing it up or declining politely, what does Morris do? HE ARMS IT!?!?!

1:48 p.m.: Apparently Fayyed goes out the little closet door, down a sewer and to an awaiting helicopter (THROUGH THE PERIMETER!!!). But he left one of the bombs to blow up. What if it had blown up? Well, that’s pretty much the end of the story. Terrorist dead. Did he just assume Jack Bauer (who just this morning was released from a Chinese prison where he’s been locked up and tortured for THREE YEARS) would be able to stop it? AND since it stopped, shouldn’t he believe that maybe Morris’ little gizmo didn’t really work???!?!?

2:00 p.m.: CTU can track one car out of millions on the LA highways, but they can’t follow ONE damn helicopter?

2:02 p.m.: Morris has recovered from being knocked out AND is already back at CTU. And the Cloe I know and love would have gone over to him and beat the piss out of Morris (or at least tasered him) instead of hugging him. I don’t like the new Cloe.

2:07 p.m.: Evil Farmer Hoggett was already left alone so he could kill his son. But apparently CTU didn’t think his CELL PHONE might have any clues on it, so they allowed Hoggett to erase it for them!?!?!?

2:08 p.m.: While CTU can grab snippets of phone conversations all over the city, they can’t monitor Hoggett’s call to the new evil mastermind … from INSIDE CTU!!!

2:14 p.m.: Bill and Jack discuss the interrogation of his brother. Yes, that’s what happened. One nuke has exploded. Three more are about to be. And they are worried about Jack going around PROTOCOLS? This is a guy who once killed a guy and cut off his head just to make a point.

2:15 p.m.: Jack cries about his brother. This should be a sign that something is wrong with this season. If Jack’s crying, the season is dying!

2:20 p.m.: President NOT-Palmer and Assad are sitting together like old buddies discussing his speech to the world. It’s pretty bad when a maniacal freak who used to be on Ally McBeal sounds more reasonable than either of these two dorks.

2:23 p.m.: AFTER saying that it would unreasonable to vote to kick the President out, Ally McBeal guy thinks it wouldn’t be unreasonable to kill him. (Actually I don’t care how they do it, but they should do it soon before his SISTER comes back).

2:36 p.m. Farmer Hoggett, despite owning a company that GAVE the nuke to the terrorists, is allowed to go have some “grandpa-time” with his grandson.

2:45 p.m. Hoggett calls Marilyn who’s riding in a car with Jack to say that he is really a bad guy and to prove it, he was one who killed Romano. So, she knows Jack is an OK guy, but she puts more trust into the old guy threatening her son than Jack. This is so stupid it baffles the imagination.

2:50 p.m.: Marilyn takes CTU right by the real house and to this new address that Hoggett told her. Problem 1: She allegedly didn’t know the address, right? So how does she now guide them to an unknown house using just the address? Problem 2: When they get there, it’s pretty darn obvious that she could not have snuck up on that house and overheard the Russians as she previously stated. Problem 3: She keeps trying to talk to Jack and he won’t listen. I hate it when shows do this.

2:56 p.m.: Why do all bombs in 24-land have to beep? (This isn’t a plot hole, just an observation)
Next Time: NOW she finally tells Jack about Hoggett.

Only redeeming things in this show:
No Presidential Sister and he annoying boyfriend.
Drill torture!!!!

If this season is to be saved:
* Morris will have to be actually working with Hoggett and his group who (for some reason) want the Arabs to have the nukes. This is the only explanation for giving in so easily.
* Hoggett will have to get together with President Weenie from last season SOON!
* Edgar's ghost will eat President's sister!