So, after one of the crappiest weeks I've had in a long time, I went with three of my buddies to see "Snakes on a Plane" this weekend.
Like any good cinematic experience, we started the night off with nachos and drinks at Old Chicago's. Plenty of drinks.
From all the crap I read about this movie, I was expecting something along the lines of "Return of the Living Dead," a decent horror movie that was freaking hysterical because it went crazy. I have seen ROTLD and I can tell you that SOAP is no ROTLD (not even ROTHLD II).
Basically it had a few over-the-top moments, but took itself WAY too seriously (it took like 20 minutes just to get on the M***** F****** PLANE! Nobody needs that much set up! Titanic didn't take that long to get on the damn boat!). There were some fun over-the-top killings (I won't ruin them here, but e-mail me and I'll spill it) but not enuf for me.
We did see Little Miss Sunshine on Sunday, also. Absolutely loved it. Steve Carrell should be in every movie. I also rented "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" over the weekend and I am convinced that Robert Downey Jr. should narrate every movie for the next 40 years. He's awesome.
Ebert out.
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About Me
- Jared Fiel
- My name is Jared Fiel. I write a humor column from Greeley, Colorado, that appears in a couple newspapers. I recently published a book called "Fumbling Thru Fatherhood" (www.fumblingfather.com) I have a lovely wife, Tracy, and two cool kids, Alex and Andy.
2 comments:
In response:
• Zombies are NOT the answer to everything.
• Titanic is one of my favorite movies of all time. But let's be honest. It took THREE HOURS for ANY action to happen at all. And you bring up that movie as a good example of just the right amount of setup?
• Have you heard about a new poker movie starring Drew Barrymore? I've heard it will be a stinker, although the cast is great.
First, zombies are the answer to everything! Think how much better Titanic would have been with Zombies!
Second, at least in Titanic they got on the darn boat after a quick poker game. In SOAP, you have to go through this whole jungle scene that NOBODY cares about. We came to see, hmmm... SNAKES ON A PLANE ... Not HACK ACTOR BEATS UP ANOTHER HACK ACTOR WITH A BAT WHILE MINIONS LAUGH IN THE BACKGROUND!!!
Third, I'm pretty sure that like baseball movies, it would be hard to screw up a poker movie. Only bad baseball movies involve primates. Now, zombie poker players who are former baseball players could be the blockbuster of the year!
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